The weather in March was lovely. Now we have entered April the weather has turned for the worse. Hail, thunder and torrential rain coupled with colder than average temperatures can mean only one thing. Yes, it’s Car Boot season once again. Ah yes you can almost smell the hotdogs and burgers from the comfort of your own room. Never has there been more fun from being crammed into a tiny field at 7am on a Sunday morning than by going to a booty.

A perfect site for sore retro eyes - there be bargains to be had out there !

So here are a few tips to keep you on your guard during the next few months :

1. Always take a small bag or rucksack with you. I made this mistake many times believing that it was either too late in the season to get any bargains or there won’t be any booters around because it was holiday season. Never underestimate what might be there.
2. Park as close as you can to the car boot as is possible. Nothing hurts more than carrying round a boxed Nintendo Gamecube Donkey Konga set, as I experienced 3 years ago. You can’t always park close but if you do make a large purchase like that don’t man up and think that because you only have a few rows to go it won’t hurt. It does.
3. Get there early. I know some of these things start at stupid o’clock but even arriving an hour after the boot starts means you are likely to have missed something. These places are full of traders and specialists who will be there when Dawn cracks. If you want the best stuff, get there early.
4. Get in early. Almost the same as above. Don’t leave something to chance as in “I’ll come back later”. If it is something you want, buy it there and then. It won’t be there later.
5. Use your own judgement. If you think you are paying too much for something then say so. It’s always best to barter, after all that is what car booting is all about. In most cases the seller will have added a couple of quid to the asking price so if you knock them down they are still getting a good deal. I should take my own advice sometimes – I tend to consider the price and think if it’s fair I’ll pay it. If it’s too much I’ll walk away rather than haggle.
6. Watch out for traders. You’ll know who they are. These are the ones who have priced high and won’t move on it because then you will be eating into their profit margin. Occasionally you can get a good deal if you buy a few things but on most occasions if it is priced highly it is priced to sell and not to be knocked down.
7. Check the condition. This is particularly with disc based games. No one is going to shout at you if you want to look at the state of a disc. If they do, then they have something to hide. Always check the contents of the box too because you might not be getting what you think you are buying, but then again I have had the odd bonus find with an extra disc inside.
8. Be sensible. Nothing pisses people off more at a car boot than someone being aggressive when it comes to haggling on prices. It’ll get you short shrift and leaves a nasty taste in everyone’s mouth. Bite your tongue if someone is being a wanker and move on, don’t get involved and start anything. It will only end in tears. Some of these places are very well marshalled and some I have been to have police officers close at hand.

There are also a couple of tips if you fancy parting with any of your collection :

1. Be realistic with your pricing. Not everyone goes to a booty with £100 in their pocket so just consider this if you think marking up your dusty PS2 with a few FIFA and WWE games at £25 is going to attract many buyers. It won’t and you’ll end up taking it back home. If you want to make that sort of profit then shove it on eBay. Go to a booty, price sensibly so you make a few quid and enjoy it.
2. Beware the trader. We’ve touched on these guys before and they will become very persistent in wanting your stuff before it goes on sale. As soon as you arrive they’ll be hovering round your car, peeking inside and asking questions. You can either do two things – give in or sit inside and wait until they have gone. They’ll want your stuff and will pay only a fraction what you want for it, and you will guarantee walking around afterwards they’ll be selling it on their stall – at a much higher price than you sold it to them. Hold your ground and be strong.
3. Be kind. If someone is trying to rip you off – and this applies to selling as well – just a few kind words and send them on their way. The last thing you want to do is get into a scrap at a booty. If they try and knock down your prices, go with it and drop if you can. If you can’t, say so and be honest. If they get all aggressive about it, just be polite. Don’t let people bully you either – after all unless you are trading or selling for charity you have your own limits set and if they don’t agree with them that is their problem.
4. Do your research. It’s always best to try a few boot fairs as a buyer and see how busy they are. Do some internet searches as well and see if you can find popular sites. The last thing you should do is join a gaming forum and ask people where good ones are. Chances are most retro gamers won’t reveal where they go for fear of an influx of buyers. There is, most definitely, a difference between standing in a field and making a decent wad and standing in a field and making 12 sales all day, believe me I had the latter happen because I didn’t do my research. A good source of information is the local free paper as there always a few adverts about upcoming and long running events

So there you go. This is not a definitive list by any standards, nor should it be taken as gospel. This is simply me passing on my experiences to you. The best advice of all, buying or selling, is to simply go and have a good day and pick up some great bargains or make a few quid.

Now get out there and grab a bargain before they are all gone.....or I get there first

As birthdays come and go, every now and then one of them is a milestone. Be it 16, 18, 21, the dreaded 40 and the even more dreaded 65 – only one stands above them all. That is the Big One and RetroBear joins in the centenary celebrations of Retro Gamer Magazine…..

Happy 100 Retro Gamer !

Usually I shun birthdays as I have no wish to be reminded just how old I am getting and how young I actually used to be. However there is one birthday I shall be raising a crafty glass to this week and that is the milestone reached by Retro Gamer magazine – it’s sparkling, glittering 100^th issue. 8 long years in the making and the publication is still going from strength to strength, packing loads of pages with lots of articles about the games from the past.

When it started in 2004 there would have been much trepidation as to how successful a magazine could be, especially with the subject matter being in the past. There must have been a demand for it, but given how collectable retro gaming has become in the last 2-3 years there can be no doubt that as us gamers who remember all the old games get older we wish to be reminded of just how much fun computer games were back in the day.

The very first issue of Retro Gamer - which is being reprinted and available as a free gift with Issue 100

So how can a modern publication, now published monthly as opposed to quarterly and surviving the collapse of their original publisher in 2005, find articles to fill their pages with. Well it’s quite simple really. There is a news section, a calendar featuring key dates in gaming history, a look back at 2 months in retro history, game reviews, players guides, arcade reviews for those gamers who restore old cabinets. There are also future classics featuring games which will be retro in the future, the compulsory letters page, interviews with programmers, games designers and retro gaming figureheads and reviews of new games, as well as retro reissues.

If you throw all that together, as well as a series of articles looking in depth at how retro consoles came about, you get an idea of the wealth of information that is out there. Many of those previously in the computer and video game industry have stepped forward to be interviewed and talk about their experiences back in the day. The sheer passion they still have comes out in interviews and articles. They must be surprised as anyone at just how their comments and insights are lapped up by gamers, both old and new.

I have been a subscriber for nearly 3 years after picking up my first issue back in the summer of 2008. While I haven’t necessarily been interested in all of the articles and can certainly claim to have gone back and read some of the ones I skipped just because I wanted something to read, a huge proportion of the magazine is of great interest to me and a fabulous read. In the day and age of blogs and websites such as these, one must bow down and accept that Retro Gamer magazine is the bible for gamers from all works of life.

Issue 53 - ah yes the delights of Track and Field, or as it is more commonly know, Sore Wrists and Broken Joysticks

For someone brought up on the likes of Zzap64, C&VG and Amiga Format, Retro Gamer has been the first publication for a very long time I have wanted to read again and again and again.

Gentlemen, RetroSection proudly salutes you and toasts you to 100 more fabulous issues.

Here;s to another 100 !

To close the February Free For All – which in all honesty has been a bit of a disaster content wise but Bear with me because the Mega Drive is up next and I absolutely love that machine – I thought it best to close out with another patented RetroSection list. They are easy to do and don’t require too much taxing of the old brain cells. I can feel the writer’s block gradually lifting and personally cannot wait to get my teeth into the mass of Mega Drive games that await me.

This game is like the February Free For All - a bit of a disaster.....

So join me as we bid farewell to February and welcome the much warmer, brighter and altogether more appreciated March with some more retro musings…..

WHY CAN’T I GET ON WITH……

STREET FIGHTER II – Hailed as one of the best beat em up games ever, and hailed by me as a button mashing nightmare of a game. I for one cannot and will not see the appeal of this side-on fighting game. I resent having to know all the button combinations beyond kick and punch. Too may of my formative years were spent being pulverised by people who knew what they were doing. Nothing was guaranteed to piss me off more than another night playing Street Fighter II on the SNES. Just for the record I tried to play it the other night…..and still couldn’t do any more than punch or kick.

SUPER MARIO KART – It might seem like this is turning into a hatred for all things Nintendo but I can assure you it isn’t. No matter what version of Mario Kart it is, I simply cannot think of anything worse – well maybe a night in playing Street Fighter II. If it wasn’t for the total unfairness of it all, I might like it. My friends have always agreed that there is a certain unpredictability about it and friendships have been strained because of it. I will admit a liking for Double Dash on the Gamecube, however, but that version along with Mario Kart 64 are regarded by many as inferior to the original Super Mario Kart – therefore meaning that I only like crappy versions of Mario Kart, which in my opinion is most of them.

WHY DOES THIS NOT EXCITE ME LIKE IT SHOULD…..

THE PLAYSTATION VITA – Seriously I am about as unexcited about this as I am excited to be getting a new motorised polisher for my car. The 3DS died on its arse when it was launched and only now, because of Mario releases, is it beginning to get noticed. Time will tell on the Vita but for me it’s not something I care two jots about.

N64 AND PS1 GAMES – Some of these games look absolutely  horrible now compared to when we first came across them back in the day. Two examples spring to mind – Turok on the N64 and Spiderman on the PS1 (Probably because I have played these two fairly recently). When Turok first came out it was well received but playing it now sees you running round in a foggy atmosphere with not much going on. Ditto for Spiderman which is ruined by some god awful polygonyish graphics at the start of the game. I know it’s meant to be a comic book but some of this is barely playable. Why have games like these aged so badly? Are they now more unplayable than less technically advanced games i.e. Frogger? Pop a PS1 game in your PS3 and you’ll soon find out.

IT’S TIME TO RUMBLE – SOME REASONS WHY SOME THINGS ARE BETTER THAN OTHERS (AND OTHER FANBOY ARGUMENTS)

WHO WOULD WIN A FIGHT BETWEEN :

C64 V SPECTRUM V AMSTRAD

The C64 had the most awesome music chip of all time
The Amstrad came with a green screen monitor
The Spectrum was responsible for a whole generation of gamers and coders

RESULT : I like music so the C64 just takes it from the Speccy

MEGA DRIVE V SUPER NINTENDO

The Mega Drive came in black whilst the SNES was sort of beigy cream
Sonic AND Mario – two killer games and practically inseparable
The SNES had Mode 7 tucked away to give some fairly impressive 3D stuff
The Mega Drive was the console which revolutionised home gaming and had at least a 12 month head start on the SNES

RESULT : Close to call but I’d have Sega’s black beast winning by a nose

AMIGA V ATARI ST

The Amiga, while occasionally suffering from lazy porting of games from the ST, was superior in graphics, sound and capabilities
The ST was crap

RESULT : Duh…...

GAMEBOY V GAME GEAR V LYNX

Although the Game Boy was monochrome it actually made the portable gaming market its own – and came packaged with Tetris
The Game Gear ate batteries and was the size of a small house
The Lynx did exactly the same as the Game Gear, and didn’t even have a TV Tuner

RESULT : Are you mad ? Game Boy by a distance

PS1 V SEGA SATURN V N64

Sony showed that you could make games using CD’s that were pretty good
The Saturn suffered because it was too late to market, causing irreparable damage to Sega
The N64 was hampered by being cartridge only which came in those silly cardboard boxes. Some games needed you to invest in an expansion pack because the cartridge was bigger in memory terms than a stock N64 could handle

RESULT : No looking beyond the PS1 on this one. The N64 comes a close second though.

DREAMCAST V PS2 V XBOX V GAMECUBE

The Gamecube and the Dreamcast could not play DVD’s
The XBOX was made by Microsoft, which in turn wasn’t all that bad a thing as people made out at the time
The PS2 was first to market, took hold of it and never let go – they were still making games for it in 2011 – and it outlasted all it’s rivals
The Gamecube never took off after a lacklustre launch
The Dreamcast never took off because Sega were last to market and despite making a damn fine machine, had no takers
The XBOX was made by Microsoft which turned out not to be as good a thing as people made out at the time

RESULT : PS2 takes it with the rest fighting amongst themselves for second place.

Not quite a box of chocolates, but you still don't know what you are going to get

February is a funny old month – long enough away from Christmas for it to be a fond, fuzzy memory whilst bringing you one step closer to summer. Either way, no matter what the time of year it’s always a time for games. The February Free-For-All means just that ; no set format, no set genre, no limit on games. It’s simply going to be a case of plug in, pick up and play. The whole random nature of this should be rather fun, and it’s going to an entry-a-day too, so plenty to look forward to.

Handhelds at the ready, it’s the Nintendo GameBoy Advance with two games bordering along the lines of the terrific and the turd-like…..

F-ZERO GP LEGEND (2003, GAMEBOY ADVANCE)

Classic futuristic racing series meets anime storytelling - but is it everyone's cup of tea ?

F-Zero had previously thrilled Super Nintendo owners with it’s breakneck speed races in a futuristic environment. It was therefore no surprise when this popped up on the GameBoy Advance, albeit with a a slight twist on the original game. Rather than go for a straight racing game, which you can actually opt for, the makers of the game have added a story mode. This means you can choose from different characters and take them through the racing season whilst taking part in a storyline.

You don't have to play in story mode and can simply jump in and race - which is what I prefer to do

Even with the GBA’s limitations, this moves at one heck of a speed. Graphically it’s pretty impressive with the visuals looking the part. There is also a rather cool soundtrack that bops along in the background alongside the usual and sparse sound effects. It’s a pretty good game, though there are one or two issues. If I play a racing game – that is what I want, and thus the story mode doesn’t really add anything for me. The map in the left hand corner is useful to the point of following where you are going, but you have no idea where the other cars are on the track. The fact you are up against 30 other racers and you hardly see anyone else on the track is a bit mind boggling.

It all boils down to the quality of the racing, and F-Zero GP Legend delivers

Those niggles aside this is a damn good racer and a worthy addition to the series. Whilst not as good as the original, or the GameCube F-Zero GX, GP Legend will appeal and suit all fans of fast and furious racing games.

POP IDOL (2003, GAMEBOY ADVANCE)

Play this game first and if you ever get to meet Simon Cowell then by all means lay into him over how horrible this game actually is

Before X-Factor took over the world we had Pop Idol. I’m no fan of either of these “talent” shows, although there is something sadistically appealing about Simon Cowell being incredibly rude to someone who obviously cannot hold a tune in a bucket. Not wanting to miss a trick, a computer game version of Pop Idol was inevitable – this is it. It follows the format of the show, with preliminary rounds, the final cut and the live shows before the final.

At least some thought has gone into transferring a rhythmn game to a handheld

Making up for the lack of a Singstar-style game, you control your chosen contestants vocals by pressing the A or B button when prompted, turning this into a rhythm game instead. Miss a vocal and your singer will begin to sing off key until you get back in time. At the end of each song the panel will give their verdict and it’s either on the way to the next round or to the nearest bus stop. As you progress, round by round the game quickens up and your reactions need to be quicker. You can also change your costume and hairstyle, if only to satisfy your own vanity.

One would imagine this game would be a lot more fun if there was more to it than that, but there isn’t. It’s sort of Dragon’s Lair for the couch potato generation – press the button at the right time. There is no depth to the game whatsoever. The graphics range from OK to blocky, with your contestant resembling something from Legoland at times. However the biggest aspect for the failure of this game is not just the shallowness of the playability, but the poor quality of the sound. You’d have thought the music would have been a bit special but instead you either get a male or female vocal , depending on your choice of contestant, singing over a backing track of tunes such as Oops I Did It Again, Spinning Around, Living La Vida Loca and rather bizarrely, given that line-up, Suspicious Minds. All of the music, vocals and sampled speech in this game sounds scratchy and distorted as hell. Sure, it is funny when the singer goes out of tune but that smile gets wiped off your face pretty damn quickly.

This is about as exciting as it gets, which isn't saying much

Summing up, I got to the final on my first go. I didn’t win but I was so bored by that point I didn’t care. Did my choice of Suspicious Minds put the judges off, or was it the red strappy top and mini skirt I chose to wear ? I’m not sure I want to know…….or ever play this pile of poop again.

A quick look ahead to some of the fun things that are planned here for Retrosection in the next 12 months. Of course there will be other bits and pieces but the idea is to have a nice them for each month. Read on for more details….

12 months is a long time in video gaming...........

Each month this year I am going to have a theme each month. It will be devoted to a different console/computer and it’s games. These will as always take a random form of selection but will also allow me to include all my favourites and a few obscure ones as well :

NES JANUARY CLASSIC : Focussing on Nintendo’s grey box of magic, which whilst not my favourite machine of all time, was more or less responsible for kick-starting the video game craze again after the traumas of 1983

FEBRUARY FREE FOR ALL : Completely random games across the board and from all sorts of places and areas. This will be a lot of fun as I shall be going into unknown waters. Where possible I shall try and avoid any of the other machines making up the 11 other months of the year

MEGADRIVE MARCH MADNESS : One of my favourite consoles, the Mega Drive was one of the machines I was lucky enough to own first time around. Plenty of arcade and original classics and I shall really enjoy giving them a whirl

AMIGA APRIL APOCALYPSE : The first proper computer I ever owned and the machine all my mates had when we went to big school. It will at least give me the chance to dig Kick Off 2 out again – and maybe Sensible Soccer though that is a BIG maybe…..

MASTER SYSTEM MAY MAYHEM : I prefer the Master System over the NES for reasons I cannot actually explain. It will be interesting to see by the end of this if that is very much still the case

N64 JUNE JAMBOREE : My second favourite console of all time. From the moment I first played Goldeneye I was in love with the machine and for me it is the best console Nintendo have ever produced

DREAMCAST JULY JUBILEE : A very underrated console which suffered from release delays and a market which by that point had lost it’s trust in Sega following the launch disaster that was the Saturn. This though for me is probably my favourite Sega console of all

PS1 AUGUST ARMAGEDDON : Some of the games have aged terribly but you cannot deny that the PS1 was something of a phenomenon when it launched. It gave us a new player in the games market and a little grey wonder with some fabulous games

XBOX SEPTEMBER SMASH-UP : Like the Dreamcast, I have always felt the XBOX was underrated and under-appreciated. Yes it weighed a tonne and cost a bomb but it had massive potential. Give me this over the 360 any day

GAMECUBE OCTOBER O.M.G. : You can argue all you want but I class the Cube, XBOX and PS2 as retro simply because I do. The Cube suffered from a lack of decent launch titles and no DVD facility so gamers stayed away and picked up PS2s and XBOXs instead. Its a shame because as we shall find out there were some awesome titles for it

SUPER NINTENDO SUPER NOVEMBER : I had a lot of exposure to the SNES growing up so it does have a fond place in my heart. Most of those involved being pummelled on Street Fighter II but not all the memories were as bad as that

PS2 DECEMBER DEMOLITION : To finish with, arguably the greatest console of them all ? Well we shall see but with a massive back catalogue which is still being added to a trip through some PS2 awesomeness is most definitely called for.

Squinting at a small screen isn’t much fun but when a game is a s good as this you can’t go wrong at all. Growing a Village People style moustache RetroBear hops, skips and jumps his way through WarioLand 2…..

Some dozy twonk has left the tap running and that's why the castle is flooded

I’ve never been a big fan of watering down a concept or introducing new characters to support existing ones, designed simply to “freshen things up”. This usually means that the creators have run out of ideas and are grasping at straws to find new ideas to keep the cash rolling in. Cynical as it may sound, poor old Sonic has suffered from this in recent years. We could accept the introduction of Tails, but once you start doing that you end up adding Knuckles, Shadow etc and before you know it you’ve got more cameos than in the new Ben Stiller film.

Mario started life with his own cast of characters – the rotund plumber himself, Luigi, Peach, Toad, and Bowser. I can forgive the inclusion of Yoshi because he’s rather cute, but when I first heard about Wario I was distinctly underwhelmed. It just seems LAZY, turning the M upside down. The less said about WaLuigi (which is just pathetic) the better.

This game was released in both normal Game Boy mode and a special Game Boy Color version - one of the few games to do that

This though is where Nintendo start to show they know what to do with new characters and not reduce them to bit parts or crappy games of their own (see Shadow The Hedgehog). They gave Wario his own game and he hasn’t looked back. I was lucky enough to pick up a loose copy of WarioLand II around 12 months ago and was instantly hooked by just how playable and fun the game is.

As with all Mario-esque platform games, Wario has had a bad day. His castle has been flooded, his treasure stolen and someone has let the chickens out. The game involves you going outside of his castle to track down the villains and restore order once more. In true Mario fashion you collect coins along the way, but unlike Mario you can’t die. Wario is invincible meaning that you can keep ploughing through the game without having to worry about save points or being sent back to the start of the game when you die.

What is incredibly wonderful about WarioLand 2 is you can set your own destiny. All roads will lead to the end of level bosses, but how you get there is up to you. There is no one set pattern to follow meaning you may take the long way or the short way to level end. You’ll need a bit of the old grey matter was well, as progress will be stopped by puzzles needing to be solved. However these shouldn’t prove too tricky for most gamers. Once you get to the end and defeat Captain Syrup (I swear I didn’t make that up) order can once again be restored.

There ain't no place like Super Wario Land

Everything about WarioLand 2 screams quality ; the graphics are big and bold which for a Game Boy game is quite something, the tunes are fittingly plinky-plonky and add charm, whilst the game play is pretty sensational. Some puzzles need some thinking but once the penny drops you’ll progress quite easily enough. It’s actually quite hard to fault this game at all !

Quite frankly one of the best hand held platform games there was. These types of games are ten-a-penny on the Game Boy but this is one of the top titles you should have.

VERDICT : A game I prefer to the Super Mario Land series, and a supreme title in every department.

NOTES : Dirt cheap to find – less than £2.00 on Amazon and round the same on eBay – so one game you really have no excuse for not owning.

UP NEXT : From the sublime to the frantic – Frostbite on the Atari 2600

Thanks Maz, it's good to be back....

I made a promise a few months ago to keep coming back and posting stuff on a regular basis. Shortly after that I decided to do a piece on Football Manager and that’s pretty much where I have been since. Yep I dug out FM 2055 and have spent a lot of my spare time playing that.

Therefore I am devoting some of my run time each day to sit down and play one game for each day in November. It could be any format or any genre (not football management as I have had enough of that for now) but that’s my aim. I’ll post my thoughts on here when I have played the game and let you know how I get on, and also anything else that springs to mind.

So RetroSection still lives, it’s just the Retrobear needs to sort himself out a bit better in the future…..

When it comes to 3D, frankly my dears gamers don't give a damn

It really comes as no surprise that Nintendo’s launch of the 3DS console has been nothing short of a minor disaster for the company. It wouldn’t be the first time that they have totally overestimated the appeal of a new launch product, or mishandled a new release. I know because I was one of the few who ran out and purchased a Gamecube on launch day (there is another article covering this on this website and it still marks the last time I did such a thing)

I will take you back to the Virtual Boy, which was meant to be the next thing in bringing Virtual Reality into the home. It was meant to bring 3D gaming and a more virtual experience, but instead gave gamers nothing more than a sore neck and crippling headaches. So much so that the creator of the Virtual Boy, – , who had previously been Nintendo’s Golden Boy Gunpei Yoki, lost his job. The console failed to find a market and was a rare blip in the company’s history. Now it is nothing more than a collectable curio and a footnote in gaming history.

Looking cool or looking like a twat ?

The Gamecube suffered from a lack of decent launch titles. The fact the console could not play DVD’s was also a downer, as both the PS2 and XBOX provided that function. If you then factor in that Nintendo were incredibly late in getting the product to market and had seen that particular ship sail into the distance, then you have another failed console on your hands – although to be fair the Gamecube was a pretty decent console.

Which brings me nicely on to the 3DS. We already have the DS, DS Lite and DSi on the market, so why on earth do we need a fourth version ? You may argue that the Gameboy had many variants ; the original brick, the slimline, the Color (yes spelt this way as opposed to Colour), the Pocket, the Advance (which was the one where you couldn’t use Advance cartridges on older machines) and the Micro. However at the end of the day they were fairly similar, and they sold by the bucketload.

An artist's impression of what doesn't happen when you play on the 3DS

The selling point of the 3DS is the fact the games are in 3D, and that my retro friends is the downfall. I have preached this long and hard and as wide as I can but for those of you who haven’t heard me yet, let me tell you this : 3D is a fad. Back in the 1950’s film makers, film studio owners and cinemas came up with a wide variety of technological advances to entice people back to the cinema and to keep them away from the growing success of the television. Of course entertainment options were much simpler back then, television was still relatively new and expensive but it began denting attendance figures.

So they launched 3D, Cinemascope (a wider picture on a bigger screen – which unfortunately sees a film suffer now when shown on television as the film was not made with a small screen in mind), Panavision and even had the novel idea of incorporating large speakers into cinemas to beef up the sound effects – of which a very early example was The Towering Inferno. All well and good I hear you say but it was what the product gave you which is what kept people interested. After a string of highly expensive flops and musicals that no one wanted to see, Hollywood went back to the drawing board to make films we would want to see. In some senses we are still waiting….

Not enticing people to the cinema - the only angry feeling you'll get from this film is when you realise you spent £10 to watch it

The whole 3D thing really hasn’t taken off. I have seen 3D televisions and will admit they do look very good but it doesn’t make me want to run out and buy one. I have no desire to go to the cinema and watch films in 3D (and be charged extra for the privilege) and seeing as there is such little support out there for the format it’s taking a long old time in grabbing the imagination. It’s like HD – you don’t need to see things in HD, so why would I need to see something in 3D I can watch normally ? I just don’t get it.

And herein lies the problem with the 3DS. It’s like a DS except in 3D. All well and good if that’s your sort of thing and sales figures in Europe have been very good. On the flip slide in both the US and Japanese markets, ironically the only numbers that seem to matter one jot when it comes to sales figures, the console has stayed on the shelves. Nintendo have therefore announced sweeping price cuts to boost sales and also offer some free GBA ROMS as a way of sweetening the deal. Now if that doesn’t smell of panic I don’t know what does.

It’s too early to call the 3DS a white elephant but when you are having to slash prices, adjust profit forecasts and see your share price tumble on the basis of that console’ sales alone it might be wise to try and bolt the door before the horse really does get a chance to get through that gate once and for all.

Nintendo 3DS not pictured - but maybe sooner than you think ?

The farce is strong with this one......

At the beginning of June at E3 2011, Microsoft announced the launch of a Limited Edition Star Wars XBOX 360 Kinect Edition. So for all those hardy souls out there who have dreamed of having a 360 in the same colours as R2D2 with fully functional sound effects and a gold C3P0-like headset as well will have had all their Christmases come at once. For the rest of us it simply translates as the Newly Repackaged Microsoft More Money Please 360.

Put it this way – I couldn’t think of anything more unappealing. I remember when The Phantom Menace was due for release and collected enough Pepsi wrappers to send away for a Limited Edition R2D2 digital clock. Which was all it was except it was shaped like R2D2. Nothing special in the slightest, other than a lifelong addiction to Pepsi and a few more £’s in George Lucas’ wallet.

So colour me totally uninterested in the latest attempt to get gamers to part with their cash in these hard times for something which other than looking slightly odd is no different from the XBOX 360 currently on the market. I am sure if they had put some fangs and dripping blood on it they could have marketed it as the Twilight 360, proving that it will work with anything and anyone with half an inkling of interest in the subject matter will happily fork out for it. Did I mention it will set you back around £350 notes when it comes out ? Did the 360 cost that when it was originally released ?

That's one freaky picture, but hopefully you get the gist of the argument

Which brings me to the point of this article – dress up any old console in some flashy new designs, colours, packaging etc and someone will be in the market for it. As follows :

• The Nintendo Gameboy was repackaged into a smaller version which took only
  

  Quite literally fits in the palm of your hand - a true handheld

  2 AA batteries as opposed to 4. It then had a colour version brought out for it which was backwards compatible with all existing software. Nintendo then brought out a Pocket AND a Micro version of the same system. The Gameboy Advance was a more powerful console but you could still play the old games on it.

• Sega repackaged both the Master System and the Megadrive into slimmer, more cost effective items. The consoles did the same things as before, they just were smaller. To the collector and misty eyed game fan nothing is better than
  

  Megadrive Mk1 and Mk2 - you're a fool if you go for Mk2

  playing on originals of both those machines, hence why they are more collectable. It should be added that Sega produced a Master System add on for both the Megadrive and the Game Gear, allowing you to play Master System games on those consoles.

• The Amiga 500+ was slightly more advanced than the Amiga 500 (more

  memory and a slightly faster processor). The downside to this was that a lot of the existing software wouldn’t work on it. The same with the Amiga 600, which did have software compatibility issues but not as many as the 500+.

Even the French loved the Amiga.... yes the French..... I know I can't believe it either

Usually a new console means new features and is a step up from the previous machine. We should not forget that the 360 came to market nearly 6 years ago, which is a heck of a long life span for a console. Aside from Kinect and a slightly bigger hard drive, there has been no advancement in the next generation of consoles from Microsoft. Nintendo have already announced their follow up to the Wii, and in the 3DS have moved their handheld technology on further.

I’ll finish with a note on the Konix Multisystem which should have launched in the early 1990’s, and you may or may not have heard of. This was meant to be the next big thing ; a hydraulic arcade chair with steering wheel, flight sim and dual joystick adaptors to fully bring home the rush of playing something akin to Afterburner whizzing around in the chair in the comfort of your own home. Owing to a lack of support from some major software houses and severe financial problems, the Konix never actually made it to market. Too much too soon perhaps ? Maybe, but no one has attempted anything like it since. Don’t get me started on “gaming chairs” because that’s a totally different thing.

Just about the coolest system never made

Change is good – sometimes. I know this 360 thing is limited edition, but really unless you don’t have a 360 and are craving one or you are the biggest Star Wars freak this side of Mos Eisley I really don’t see how this can warrant anyone’s attention. My advice – buy a P3S instead. Or a PS3 and a Wii and you might have some change left over for the Star Wars Blu Rays coming out very very soon.

PS I should point out I don’t have anything against Microsoft or the 360. I had an original XBOX and made the choice to go with that rather than a PS2, and think it’s a fab console. I just don’t like to see something repackaged and then charge you, the consumer, a wad of cash for what is basically a 360 with R2D2 knobs on it.

Remember – you can polish a turd as much as you like, but at the end of the day it’s still a turd……

Keep on buffing.....

]]> https://retrosection.com/2011/uncategorized/retrocomment-a-sheep-in-r2d2s-clothing/feed/ 4 https://retrosection.com/2011/retro-reviews/retro-reviews-the-nintendo-game-boy/ https://retrosection.com/2011/retro-reviews/retro-reviews-the-nintendo-game-boy/#comments Mon, 28 Mar 2011 21:57:21 +0000 http://retrosection.com/?p=236 This time Retrobear embarks on a journey of tiny screens, funny shaped and coloured moulded plastics, sore fingers and a gem of a machine. It’s the juggernaut of the handheld world, the Nintendo Game Boy.

Truly a robot in disguise - the original Game Boy with Handy Boy attachment - providing additional light and stereo sound

Ahhhh the Nintendo Game Boy and it’s family of smaller more portable sequels that completely and utterly dominated that sector of the market. Never mind fighting the console wars on the 16 bit front, Oh no, Nintendo had a much bigger trick up it’s sleeve. The launch of the Game Boy in 1989 gave it an almost unrivalled position as King Of The Mini Micros. That’s not to say that there wasn’t any competition – there was and many firms tried their best to wrest the stranglehold that Nintendo had, but all failed.

To put it mildly that lot will set you back a bloody fortune nowadays

Up to that point in time, handheld gaming was hardly on the gaming radar. OK that’s a little unfair as Nintendo did have the very successful Game And Watch series (for more on this have a peek-a-boo at this quite marvellous site http://www.pica-pic.com/), a succession of LCD single and dual screen games that were very popular (and now incredibly collectable). Games involving Mario, Donkey Kong, Link and many others were released and made their mark. The thing was, no one else really had a proper stab at creating a machine where you could play more than just the one game.

What do you mean you've never heard of it ???

In 1989 Nintendo launched the Game Boy along with the most dangerous and lethal of killer applications ever bundled with a release machine : Tetris. Everyone from your mum, your nan and your dog was playing this back then. Nintendo took one look at it and decided that was the game to be given away free with the Game Boy. Only in Japan was it not packaged with the console, but by doing this, it gave everyone a game that you could play and play and play.

Donkey Kong Land on the Game Boy

Whilst it may have had a monochrome screen and some games suffered from screen blurring, the Game Boy made everyone sit up and take note. Suddenly gamers could now play on the move, on the bus, in the toilet etc. A huge library of games were released ; Super Mario Land and it’s sequels, a cracking conversion of R-Type, Link makes an appearance, the Belmonts of Castlevania and so many more. Pricey they may have been, but at least you could swap and pick and choose from a huge selection.

The Atari Lynx - not what you would call pocket sized

Other companies tried to compete. Both Sega with the Game Gear, with the added bonus of having a TV tuner and an adaptor that enabled you to play Master System games on it, and Atari with the Lynx tackled Nintendo with full colour handhelds. Whilst fab to look at and a lot easier on the eye than some of the Game Boy efforts, having a colour screen meant short battery life. My goodness does the Game Gear eat batteries (Tip – if you have one and a Mega Drive simply plug the Mega Drive adaptor into the mains) and that’s the beauty of the Game Boy. The low resolution offerings enabled a much longer battery life and knowing that kids hated changing batteries, the Game Boy would allow you 3 times as much playing time compared to it’s rivals.

The Sega Nomad - play those Mega Drive games on the move - quite rare and worth a bit of cash

Sega countered again, this time with the Nomad which would play Mega Drive games. Again it suffered from a short battery life and sooner rather than later all the colour handhelds had been squeezed out. Atari would try once more with the Jaguar before dropping out of console production altogether. Sega simply couldn’t compete and stuck with what they did best, making great games and great home consoles.

The Game Boy evolved even further. The original version took 4 AA batteries and was quite chunky in size. So they scaled it down, reduced the battery size in half and launched the Game Boy Pocket. Following that, the Game Boy Color which now ran new games in full colour and was backwards compatible which meant the Game Boy’s existing library of games could be used. It even coloured them in with some basic shades.

The Game Boy Advance and Game Boy Advance SP - as modelled by our lovely assistant

After those successes Nintendo then launched the Game Boy Advance, a rhombo-rectangular handheld with shoulder buttons and a full colour screen. Better quality games were produced to make use of the upgraded hardware and again it was backwards compatible. That was then reduced in size to the table top Game Boy Advance SP which would fit nicely in the palm of your hand. The last one off the production line was the Game Boy Micro, which was about the size of an MP3 player. Every last ounce of goodness was squeezed from this particular orange, and every incarnation was an improvement on the last, but still allowed the link to the original version to be returned to at any time.

Truly dominant as it was, the Game Boy was probably the most surprising success of it’s time. To come from a time when Sega and Nintendo were waging war on the 8 bit home front and the Mega Drive placing Sega in total control of the 16 bit console market, the launch of the Game Boy could have been simply overwhelmed. That it is still talked about today and still used (the consoles themselves can be picked up cheaply at car boots and the games equally so) means its legacy and place in gaming history is guaranteed.

How the hell did the DS get on a retro site ?