The weather in March was lovely. Now we have entered April the weather has turned for the worse. Hail, thunder and torrential rain coupled with colder than average temperatures can mean only one thing. Yes, it’s Car Boot season once again. Ah yes you can almost smell the hotdogs and burgers from the comfort of your own room. Never has there been more fun from being crammed into a tiny field at 7am on a Sunday morning than by going to a booty.

A perfect site for sore retro eyes - there be bargains to be had out there !

So here are a few tips to keep you on your guard during the next few months :

1. Always take a small bag or rucksack with you. I made this mistake many times believing that it was either too late in the season to get any bargains or there won’t be any booters around because it was holiday season. Never underestimate what might be there.
2. Park as close as you can to the car boot as is possible. Nothing hurts more than carrying round a boxed Nintendo Gamecube Donkey Konga set, as I experienced 3 years ago. You can’t always park close but if you do make a large purchase like that don’t man up and think that because you only have a few rows to go it won’t hurt. It does.
3. Get there early. I know some of these things start at stupid o’clock but even arriving an hour after the boot starts means you are likely to have missed something. These places are full of traders and specialists who will be there when Dawn cracks. If you want the best stuff, get there early.
4. Get in early. Almost the same as above. Don’t leave something to chance as in “I’ll come back later”. If it is something you want, buy it there and then. It won’t be there later.
5. Use your own judgement. If you think you are paying too much for something then say so. It’s always best to barter, after all that is what car booting is all about. In most cases the seller will have added a couple of quid to the asking price so if you knock them down they are still getting a good deal. I should take my own advice sometimes – I tend to consider the price and think if it’s fair I’ll pay it. If it’s too much I’ll walk away rather than haggle.
6. Watch out for traders. You’ll know who they are. These are the ones who have priced high and won’t move on it because then you will be eating into their profit margin. Occasionally you can get a good deal if you buy a few things but on most occasions if it is priced highly it is priced to sell and not to be knocked down.
7. Check the condition. This is particularly with disc based games. No one is going to shout at you if you want to look at the state of a disc. If they do, then they have something to hide. Always check the contents of the box too because you might not be getting what you think you are buying, but then again I have had the odd bonus find with an extra disc inside.
8. Be sensible. Nothing pisses people off more at a car boot than someone being aggressive when it comes to haggling on prices. It’ll get you short shrift and leaves a nasty taste in everyone’s mouth. Bite your tongue if someone is being a wanker and move on, don’t get involved and start anything. It will only end in tears. Some of these places are very well marshalled and some I have been to have police officers close at hand.

There are also a couple of tips if you fancy parting with any of your collection :

1. Be realistic with your pricing. Not everyone goes to a booty with £100 in their pocket so just consider this if you think marking up your dusty PS2 with a few FIFA and WWE games at £25 is going to attract many buyers. It won’t and you’ll end up taking it back home. If you want to make that sort of profit then shove it on eBay. Go to a booty, price sensibly so you make a few quid and enjoy it.
2. Beware the trader. We’ve touched on these guys before and they will become very persistent in wanting your stuff before it goes on sale. As soon as you arrive they’ll be hovering round your car, peeking inside and asking questions. You can either do two things – give in or sit inside and wait until they have gone. They’ll want your stuff and will pay only a fraction what you want for it, and you will guarantee walking around afterwards they’ll be selling it on their stall – at a much higher price than you sold it to them. Hold your ground and be strong.
3. Be kind. If someone is trying to rip you off – and this applies to selling as well – just a few kind words and send them on their way. The last thing you want to do is get into a scrap at a booty. If they try and knock down your prices, go with it and drop if you can. If you can’t, say so and be honest. If they get all aggressive about it, just be polite. Don’t let people bully you either – after all unless you are trading or selling for charity you have your own limits set and if they don’t agree with them that is their problem.
4. Do your research. It’s always best to try a few boot fairs as a buyer and see how busy they are. Do some internet searches as well and see if you can find popular sites. The last thing you should do is join a gaming forum and ask people where good ones are. Chances are most retro gamers won’t reveal where they go for fear of an influx of buyers. There is, most definitely, a difference between standing in a field and making a decent wad and standing in a field and making 12 sales all day, believe me I had the latter happen because I didn’t do my research. A good source of information is the local free paper as there always a few adverts about upcoming and long running events

So there you go. This is not a definitive list by any standards, nor should it be taken as gospel. This is simply me passing on my experiences to you. The best advice of all, buying or selling, is to simply go and have a good day and pick up some great bargains or make a few quid.

Now get out there and grab a bargain before they are all gone.....or I get there first

What can be done to prevent the fire sale that sparked the collapse of the GAME group ?

So what has GAME got to do going forward. From the suggestion box these spurt forth like a spurting thing :

• Shutting so many stores was necessary to reduce costs. You cannot continue having 2-3 shops of the same name within yards of each other competing and chasing the same quid. Hopefully now the lesson has been learnt and they should focus on 1 store maximum in any town centre.
• The pricing policy needs looking at immediately. One of the big criticisms of GAME stores was the huge variance in some of the pricing, especially with the second hand stock. Having preowned games on sale for more than brand new copies smacks of laziness. They also need to look hard at the quantities of preowned games they take in, rather than simply take games for the sake of it
• Perhaps the biggest suggestion of all is this : learn from your mistakes. Not everyone is given a second chance like this. Screw it up this time and it really will be GAME over.
• Assess the competition. The pricing strategies of HMV should be lesson enough to ensure that you don’t follow their path. CEX specialise in mainly second hand stuff. The supermarkets will always have the power to offer better deals but most gamers would rather go to a game specialist. Set out your own stall and be unique, but not unique enough to alienate customers.
• Finally there will be many who would have happily seen GAME go to the wall. The suppliers pulling out before administration was viewed in some quarters as “turnabout being fair play” Mend those bridges and be less like the old GAME.

What do I know ? Well not much but I do know we still have a specialist game retailer on the high street who Mum and Dad and Nan can go to on birthdays and Christmas and get the Call of Duty game you wanted rather than the Call of Juarez game you had never heard of.

Its happened to us all which is why we need specialist stores around to prevent it from happening

Embrace change and take the second chance. From the ashes a phoenix can rise but it is entirely within your own destiny. Screw it up this time and no tears will be shed.

NOTE : Since I wrote this article back on 2^nd April, it has been well documented on various forums that GAME have not learnt a thing. Game prices for pre-owned items are back up to ludicrous levels, so much so that you can buy brand new copies at other stores for anything up to £10 less than GAME are selling second hand.

People are now trading back to GAME all the titles they got in the “spring clean / fire sale” a few weeks ago. Gamers are boasting how they have been able to make £30+ in some cases by trading back to GAME what they previously tried to get rid of.

Finally, probably the worst example has been items being put on the shelves with damaged boxes or missing instructions – what would be classed as seconds – and put on sale for quick removal. One store was reported selling these games at higher prices than the pre-owned stock they already had.

Perhaps, after all this, they do deserve to go to the wall after all…………..

Oh no, not again......

With the fragile future of GAME hanging in the balance, it seemed only appropriate to say a few words in passing whilst with each day that goes by we wonder if the retail giant is heading towards it’s own Game Over….

This week could spell the end for GAME and Gamestation

Being a gamer it is almost impossible to ignore the continual slide and slow demise of the Game group over the last few months. I have thought long and hard about writing this article, but with news over the weekend that there is likely to be no rescue package and that the company will be left to wither away, I felt it was time to chuck in my two cents and say what I really think about it all.

Sadly the way we now do our shopping has changed so much since the rise of the internet. Online buying and selling has become the norm, which has played a huge part in the demise of Game. All of a sudden, a whole world of competition that was not there back in 1992 is rife in 2012. Consumers simply have more choice, more options and if they so wish they can do all this from the comfort of their armchairs, beds, gardens and even on the move in buses, cars or trains.

Mobile phones and shopping now go hand in hand - it was only a few years ago we were discovering the delights of shopping via computer

There will be some who will not be sad to see Game go. Years of bizarre pricing strategies have seen consumers head elsewhere, something that HMV has also seen. You can now even buy games in your local supermarket and usually at a much cheaper price. Huge amounts of second hand stock held by Game is now being shipped out and sold off really cheaply to raise cash and reduce their liabilities. If this company, which insists on having 2 or 3 shops from the same group mere yards from each other in some places, would only have looked at the costs involved in doing so they may have wondered if they had actually been doing themselves any favours over the years.

It was only 25 years ago your local newsagent would be stocking C64 and Spectrum games, meaning you wouldn’t have far to go to get your gaming fixes. Big names like WHSmith, Woolworths and Boots would be your usual port of call for big supplies of games, and the odd local independent retailer would also be battling for your cash. Up near me I can think of three local independents I used to go to, with one of those still going strongly today. Nowadays your local newsagent is likely to be a Tesco Express. WHSmith and Boots no longer stock games and Woolworths no longer exists.

The innocence of the corner shop from days gone by are no more and we shall never see it's like again - 25 years ago shops like this would be a good source of computer games

Game have not helped themselves by trying to deflect the blame anywhere but at it’s own doorstep. Yes we know competition is beyond fierce and that online trading is the way things are going but, by their reasoning, with no new consoles coming out, consumers don’t want the products on the market. That simply isn’t true. Yes the 360 and Wii are showing their age but we have seen the 3DS, PS Vita, Kinect and Playstation Move all come to market in the last 18 months. There is new tech out there, it is not the consumer’s fault that some of it simply isn’t appealing. Times are tough and we cannot all afford to shell out up to £200 unless it is justified. Consumers are being far shrewder with their cash at the moment, and a high end expensive market like the video games market is always going to suffer, despite a successful second hand sector.

It is extremely unlikely that Game, the company which purchased Electronics Boutique and Gamestation turning their closest rivals into their own brand, will be saved. This will therefore leave us with three basic scenarios : administration bringing a new buyer and owner to take over, the opportunity for a new retailer to rise from the ashes or simply that buying games will become an online and supermarket phenomenon. The last option worries me greatly but at this moment in time seems the most likely outcome.

As birthdays come and go, every now and then one of them is a milestone. Be it 16, 18, 21, the dreaded 40 and the even more dreaded 65 – only one stands above them all. That is the Big One and RetroBear joins in the centenary celebrations of Retro Gamer Magazine…..

Happy 100 Retro Gamer !

Usually I shun birthdays as I have no wish to be reminded just how old I am getting and how young I actually used to be. However there is one birthday I shall be raising a crafty glass to this week and that is the milestone reached by Retro Gamer magazine – it’s sparkling, glittering 100^th issue. 8 long years in the making and the publication is still going from strength to strength, packing loads of pages with lots of articles about the games from the past.

When it started in 2004 there would have been much trepidation as to how successful a magazine could be, especially with the subject matter being in the past. There must have been a demand for it, but given how collectable retro gaming has become in the last 2-3 years there can be no doubt that as us gamers who remember all the old games get older we wish to be reminded of just how much fun computer games were back in the day.

The very first issue of Retro Gamer - which is being reprinted and available as a free gift with Issue 100

So how can a modern publication, now published monthly as opposed to quarterly and surviving the collapse of their original publisher in 2005, find articles to fill their pages with. Well it’s quite simple really. There is a news section, a calendar featuring key dates in gaming history, a look back at 2 months in retro history, game reviews, players guides, arcade reviews for those gamers who restore old cabinets. There are also future classics featuring games which will be retro in the future, the compulsory letters page, interviews with programmers, games designers and retro gaming figureheads and reviews of new games, as well as retro reissues.

If you throw all that together, as well as a series of articles looking in depth at how retro consoles came about, you get an idea of the wealth of information that is out there. Many of those previously in the computer and video game industry have stepped forward to be interviewed and talk about their experiences back in the day. The sheer passion they still have comes out in interviews and articles. They must be surprised as anyone at just how their comments and insights are lapped up by gamers, both old and new.

I have been a subscriber for nearly 3 years after picking up my first issue back in the summer of 2008. While I haven’t necessarily been interested in all of the articles and can certainly claim to have gone back and read some of the ones I skipped just because I wanted something to read, a huge proportion of the magazine is of great interest to me and a fabulous read. In the day and age of blogs and websites such as these, one must bow down and accept that Retro Gamer magazine is the bible for gamers from all works of life.

Issue 53 - ah yes the delights of Track and Field, or as it is more commonly know, Sore Wrists and Broken Joysticks

For someone brought up on the likes of Zzap64, C&VG and Amiga Format, Retro Gamer has been the first publication for a very long time I have wanted to read again and again and again.

Gentlemen, RetroSection proudly salutes you and toasts you to 100 more fabulous issues.

Here;s to another 100 !

To close the February Free For All – which in all honesty has been a bit of a disaster content wise but Bear with me because the Mega Drive is up next and I absolutely love that machine – I thought it best to close out with another patented RetroSection list. They are easy to do and don’t require too much taxing of the old brain cells. I can feel the writer’s block gradually lifting and personally cannot wait to get my teeth into the mass of Mega Drive games that await me.

This game is like the February Free For All - a bit of a disaster.....

So join me as we bid farewell to February and welcome the much warmer, brighter and altogether more appreciated March with some more retro musings…..

WHY CAN’T I GET ON WITH……

STREET FIGHTER II – Hailed as one of the best beat em up games ever, and hailed by me as a button mashing nightmare of a game. I for one cannot and will not see the appeal of this side-on fighting game. I resent having to know all the button combinations beyond kick and punch. Too may of my formative years were spent being pulverised by people who knew what they were doing. Nothing was guaranteed to piss me off more than another night playing Street Fighter II on the SNES. Just for the record I tried to play it the other night…..and still couldn’t do any more than punch or kick.

SUPER MARIO KART – It might seem like this is turning into a hatred for all things Nintendo but I can assure you it isn’t. No matter what version of Mario Kart it is, I simply cannot think of anything worse – well maybe a night in playing Street Fighter II. If it wasn’t for the total unfairness of it all, I might like it. My friends have always agreed that there is a certain unpredictability about it and friendships have been strained because of it. I will admit a liking for Double Dash on the Gamecube, however, but that version along with Mario Kart 64 are regarded by many as inferior to the original Super Mario Kart – therefore meaning that I only like crappy versions of Mario Kart, which in my opinion is most of them.

WHY DOES THIS NOT EXCITE ME LIKE IT SHOULD…..

THE PLAYSTATION VITA – Seriously I am about as unexcited about this as I am excited to be getting a new motorised polisher for my car. The 3DS died on its arse when it was launched and only now, because of Mario releases, is it beginning to get noticed. Time will tell on the Vita but for me it’s not something I care two jots about.

N64 AND PS1 GAMES – Some of these games look absolutely  horrible now compared to when we first came across them back in the day. Two examples spring to mind – Turok on the N64 and Spiderman on the PS1 (Probably because I have played these two fairly recently). When Turok first came out it was well received but playing it now sees you running round in a foggy atmosphere with not much going on. Ditto for Spiderman which is ruined by some god awful polygonyish graphics at the start of the game. I know it’s meant to be a comic book but some of this is barely playable. Why have games like these aged so badly? Are they now more unplayable than less technically advanced games i.e. Frogger? Pop a PS1 game in your PS3 and you’ll soon find out.

IT’S TIME TO RUMBLE – SOME REASONS WHY SOME THINGS ARE BETTER THAN OTHERS (AND OTHER FANBOY ARGUMENTS)

WHO WOULD WIN A FIGHT BETWEEN :

C64 V SPECTRUM V AMSTRAD

The C64 had the most awesome music chip of all time
The Amstrad came with a green screen monitor
The Spectrum was responsible for a whole generation of gamers and coders

RESULT : I like music so the C64 just takes it from the Speccy

MEGA DRIVE V SUPER NINTENDO

The Mega Drive came in black whilst the SNES was sort of beigy cream
Sonic AND Mario – two killer games and practically inseparable
The SNES had Mode 7 tucked away to give some fairly impressive 3D stuff
The Mega Drive was the console which revolutionised home gaming and had at least a 12 month head start on the SNES

RESULT : Close to call but I’d have Sega’s black beast winning by a nose

AMIGA V ATARI ST

The Amiga, while occasionally suffering from lazy porting of games from the ST, was superior in graphics, sound and capabilities
The ST was crap

RESULT : Duh…...

GAMEBOY V GAME GEAR V LYNX

Although the Game Boy was monochrome it actually made the portable gaming market its own – and came packaged with Tetris
The Game Gear ate batteries and was the size of a small house
The Lynx did exactly the same as the Game Gear, and didn’t even have a TV Tuner

RESULT : Are you mad ? Game Boy by a distance

PS1 V SEGA SATURN V N64

Sony showed that you could make games using CD’s that were pretty good
The Saturn suffered because it was too late to market, causing irreparable damage to Sega
The N64 was hampered by being cartridge only which came in those silly cardboard boxes. Some games needed you to invest in an expansion pack because the cartridge was bigger in memory terms than a stock N64 could handle

RESULT : No looking beyond the PS1 on this one. The N64 comes a close second though.

DREAMCAST V PS2 V XBOX V GAMECUBE

The Gamecube and the Dreamcast could not play DVD’s
The XBOX was made by Microsoft, which in turn wasn’t all that bad a thing as people made out at the time
The PS2 was first to market, took hold of it and never let go – they were still making games for it in 2011 – and it outlasted all it’s rivals
The Gamecube never took off after a lacklustre launch
The Dreamcast never took off because Sega were last to market and despite making a damn fine machine, had no takers
The XBOX was made by Microsoft which turned out not to be as good a thing as people made out at the time

RESULT : PS2 takes it with the rest fighting amongst themselves for second place.

The following reasons are why Mario is better than Sonic, and why Sonic is better than Mario – at least, for arguments sake, that will give you something to mull over until next time :

It's the battle to end all battles, the rage in the cage, the rumble in the jungle - but who comes out on top ?

MARIO IS BETTER THAN SONIC because : He collects coins, thus ensuring a wealthy journey through his adventures. Sonic collects rings, which unless they are made of a particularly valuable metal, mean that they are worthless.

SONIC IS BETTER THAN MARIO because : He gets there quicker. Seriously if you were hanging around waiting for Mario to show up then you would be waiting a very long time. I am surprised the Princess never died of old age. There is an art to arriving early and with Sonic’s speed he will always be there on time.

SONIC IS BETTER THAN MARIO because : He wears the coolest looking training shoes. Mario wears dungarees which weren’t even fashionable in 1985 when Super Mario Bros arrived on the NES. Mario also has one of those dodgy 1970’s porn film moustaches which, being a plumber, means he may have a second career on the side we don’t know about

MARIO IS BETTER THAN SONIC because : When he opens his mouth he sounds like he looks i.e. A stereotypical Italian. When Sonic opens his trap he sounds like a 7 year old boy, and has done so for many years. It might be a nice idea to have Sonic’s vocal chords be a little more masculine in future

MARIO IS BETTER THAN SONIC because : The spin off games involving Mario and his supporting cast – Mario Golf, Mario Tennis, Mario Kart and Mario Party – are considerably better than Sonic’s – Sonic Spinball, Sega Superstar Tennis, Sega All Star Racing and Sonic Shuffle.

SONIC IS BETTER THAN MARIO because : His animated TV series didn’t have a couple of second rate actors pretending to be Mario and Luigi in some poorly scripted inserts before the low quality animation kicked in.

MARIO IS BETTER THAN SONIC because : Mario games make Nintendo consoles. Super Mario Bros was given away with the NES, whilst the third game in that series is one of the greatest games of all time. Super Mario World, again, was bundled with a special version of the SNES. Mario 64 launched the N64. Super Mario Galaxy is going to be a future classic on the Wii and the new Super Mario World 3D is going to shift a lot of handhelds. Sonic no longer has a console to call his own and despite games like Sonic R on the Saturn and Sonic Adventure on the Dreamcast being rather good, both those systems died a death.

SONIC IS BETTER THAN MARIO because : He is just so much cooler than Mario. He’s the sort of character who you want to hang out with. Mario isn’t all that appealing and to be honest when all your best friends come from some fantasy world you have to keep visiting then you can’t be all that popular in the first place.

The battles shall of course rage on and the arguments shall continue, but one thing is assured : Mario & Sonic are probably the two most identifiable characters in video game history and shall forever be associated with it. In some ways that’s a pretty damn good thing…….

OK so this is it. The final instalment of my Retro A-Z 2012 edition. It’s been a fun traverse back through some of the weird and wonderful titles and games of yesteryear, and hopefully I’ll have the chance to revisit this again next year. So it’s on with the show as we go U through to Z…..

U IS FOR :

UMBRELLA CORPORATION : The fictional pharmaceutical organisation that brings about the outbreak of T-Virus that leads us into the very first Resident Evil game. If it wasn’t for them, shooting zombies and all manners of warped creatures would not be possible. Nor would we have some of the most wooden voice acting in games history. Funny how the link between Umbrella and Rhianna gives us something truly stomach churning that only our worst imaginations could conjure up…..

V IS FOR :

VIXEN : Truly horrendous platform game from the late 1980’s with the one saving grace being the scantily clad woman on the box and the free poster inside. Further proof that sex sells and the focal point of interest was far better than the mundane offering the game provided.

VIGILANTE : See the entry for Renegade and you pretty much have the spiel for this average beat em up. This game did come with the rather bizarre storyline of having you rescue Madonna – yes THE Madonna of Like A Virgin fame – from a gang of hoodlums. The game implies your girlfriend is actually called Madonna but, seeing as this was the 80’s, it is far too much of a coincidence to be true. Anyway the game was a bit meh and got lost in the glut of rescuing kidnapped girlfriend games so it doesn’t matter all that much.

W IS FOR :

WALUIGI : Possibly the best result of “long night at the office” syndrome. The brain trust must have been absent for this one, as creating Wario to rival Mario made sense. Creating an evil Luigi however must rank as one of the most pointless ideas ever. It’s not as if Luigi is that appealing a character in the first place – after all he’s just Mario’s stupider brother. It would have made more sense putting Crap in front of Luigi and might have been closer to the mark.

WACKY RACES : I have been lucky (or unlucky) enough to have have played 2 versions of games based on the popular 1960’s cartoon series. The first was a platformer on the NES which had you playing as Muttley and had about as much to do with Wacky Races as not at all. The other game was on the PS1 which was more based around the racing side of things but was so easy it didn’t offer the gamer much of a challenge. There have been other versions on the Dreamcast, PS2, Wii and Nintendo DS, proving at least there is life in the series. Perhaps one day we will see a definitive version……

WARLORDS : Classic Atari 2600 which had you and 3 other Warlords (computer controlled or played with your mates) battling in an arena. The idea is to deflect the ball around the arena damaging your opponent’s walls until they are exposed. Then the fun begins as you can catch the ball by holding down the fire button and aim for them. Keep playing till Last Man Stands and you can claim the title of Warlord. A timeless classic which must be played in it’s original format to truly appreciate how cool this game is.

X IS FOR :

XENON 2 : Vastly overrated shoot em up which at the time boasted 3 things that made everyone rave about it. Firstly, the graphics which looked fantastically amazing. Secondly, the music using the sampled track from Bomb The Bass’ hit Megablast. Thirdly, the sheer size of the weaponry on display – it was meaty, huge and downright ludicrous. So perhaps the biggest issue with Xenon 2 came with the speed – for a shooter it’s just too damn slow, and the bigger your weapons and add-ons get, the slower you move. In some cases you can’t actually get through certain sections with too much bolted on. Great for the time but blast fans now will find it hard to get on with.

Y IS FOR :

YOSHI : Dinosaurs are not meant to be cute. Yoshi is. Yoshi rules and for me he is the most appealing character in the Mario games, which makes me wonder why Nintendo have never made more of him.

YARS REVENGE : Another quality Atari 2600 title which sees you take control of a giant, insect type creature who has to nibble away at the fortress of a giant Apollo spacecraft-type alien. You have to do so whilst being tracked by a homing missile which you can take refuge from inside a neutral zone. Once you have nibbled a hole big enough you can fire your missile through it, hopefully hitting and destroying the alien craft. Simple enough, this is one of the best examples of why the Atari 2600 was so successful and the quality of games which were produced within the hardware limitations. Yet, once again, when someone tried to update it to the current generation of consoles the game was lacking in gameplay and hampered by the decision not to stick with original side on view.

Z IS FOR :

ZX SPECTRUM : Putting it as simply as I can, if it wasn’t for the success of this machine then we would not be where we are today. The Speccy is as revered as it is ridiculed, but you cannot ignore the impact it had on consumers. We should all give thanks to Sir Clive on a daily basis for this wondrous hobby that we have. Sir, my hat is doffed in your general direction for your vision, your brilliance and your belief in the home computer.

Not for the C5 though, I have no idea what you were smoking when you came up with that…………..

NB – What happened here is one of those instances where you lose a week. I have no idea where it went nor do I know what happened. Therefore the next post will actually commence with my diary entry for 20^th February 2012.

So we come to P, then Q, R, S and T. If it gets any more like Sesame Street I will have to change my name to Count Retro Bear. Well maybe not, although any similarity between a Muppet and myself are purely coincidental…….

3 ! 3DS ! Ha ha ha.....

P IS FOR :

PENGUINS : Pengo was one of the first arcade games I can remember. Pushing blocks of ice around a screen might not seem like very sophisticated stuff but the arcade machine in my local chip shop introduced me to gaming in a big way. Since then penguins have gone on to be the mascot for Linux, as well as appearing in many other games ; Attack of The Mutant Penguins, Penguin Adventure, Amazing Penguin, Club Penguin and even the bloody Penguins From Madagascar. Proof enough that slapping a penguin in something means it’s going to sell. The same cannot be said for any games based around sloths……except for one of the Ice Age games….

PICTIONARY : Picture this. It is 1990 and with Christmas fast approaching you are faced with a dilemma. Do you fork out £24.99 for the Amiga version of the popular party game where you draw pictures of items for your team or partner to guess, or do you pay less than a couple of quid for some paper and different colour pens ? If you selected the first option, you are quite clearly a buffoon. A pointless licence.

POPEYE : Ancient arcade game which stars everyone’s favourite cartoon sailor who has to rescue Olive Oyl from the clutches of Bluto. You do this by jumping up and down a series of platforms collecting musical notes, hearts and the letters spelling out HELP as quickly as possible. Along the way you can eat cans of spinach and go and give Bluto a good hiding. There are also cameos from other Popeye characters like Wimpey and Sweet Pea. If you can’t stand Popeye the cartoon, and believe me I can’t, you’d be thinking this is a waste of your time. Shame on you then because this is actually a very fun game to play, if a little basic by today’s standards.

Q IS FOR :

QUACKSHOT : If Mickey Mouse had Castle of Illusion then Donald Duck had Quackshot. This was when Disney characters began appearing in good games that weren’t shameless cash-ins. Casting Donald as an intrepid adventurer in a platform style game was a good move. The game looked terrific and played extremely well, proving that you could throw a pretty tired idea into the mix and come out with something rather good.

R IS FOR :

RENEGADE : A series spawning three games must have had some impact back in the day and there is no doubt the 1980’s were very much the time of the vigilante after revenge. Of course each entry in the series had it’s own appeal ; the first game had you attempting to rescue your girlfriend, the second had you avenging your brother’s death and the third had you again going after your girlfriend, except this time she had been captured and taken back through time. The last two games in the series were strictly home versions only, as only the first game was an arcade conversion. The third game is also one of the worst pieces of software ever to grace a computer.

REPTON : The BBC wasn’t known for it’s killer games or wondrous arcade conversions. It was more associated with educational software and the fact that a lot of Britain’s schools had their IT departments filled with them. That doesn’t mean one can discount some of the pieces of software that have appeared on that machine. One of the best examples is Repton, which is not a clone of Boulderdash as is commonly misconstrued. The game is very similar, casting a lizard man in the main role who has to collect gems and diamonds from underground caves. OK so it does sound very similar, but there was more of a puzzle solving element to Repton and this was further emphasised in the number of sequels that followed the game. Fondly remembered by the few who had BBC Micros, because their parents wanted an educational machine.

S IS FOR :

SAMANTHA FOX STRIP POKER : Let’s put it this way – if you are a young man discovering the joys of life, at a certain age and for a few quid you can buy a game licensed around the hottest Page 3 girl of her time, what would YOU do ? Forget the fact you can’t play poker, it’s a computer game AND there are badly pixalated scantily clad women……. nuff said!

SIMPSONS : Everyone’s favourite yellow family have had a rather chequered gaming history. Very few titles using this licence have actually been much good. The original arcade game in 1990 was a great hulking 4 player game which never got converted to the home computers. Early titles like Bart vs The Space Mutants were fun but not really involving. The rash of titles for the Mega Drive and SNES – Bart’s Nightmare, Virtual Bart – were notorious for their crapiness and when finally it does seem like the developers hit on a good idea – Simpsons Road Rage – what you are actually playing is a Simpson version of Crazy Taxi. The less said about Simpsons Wrestling, the better.

T IS FOR :

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES : There are a couple of things to remember when it comes to Turtles games. Firstly, the platform game that was released on every single format is rubbish. The arcade original is totally awesome, if you never played the 4 player version then you really missed out. The home conversions varied from amazing to you-must-be-joking. The Turtles in Time games on the Mega Drive and SNES were different from each other but still ruled, while fight fans enjoyed the Tournament Fighters game. All in all a much better gaming history than the Simpsons.

THEME PARK : If you have ever fancied creating and owning your own theme park then this was the game for you. Create your own rides, set prices, build concession stands and in the 16 bit version even go on your own rides. This was the game which helped spawn titles like Theme Hospital and Jurassic Park : Operation Genesis. If you have the time to put in then these are the games for you and tend to be more easy to get into than God simulator games like Populous.

UP NEXT : U, V, W, X, Y and Z.

This is most definitely bringing back the memories as we go along. Whether it is curing the writer’s block is another thing entirely but it has been good for the soul. More glaring omissions along the way as we visit the more obscure retro references……

Warm sunny days and warm sunny memories

K IS FOR :

KONAMI : Probably the most recognisable games developer in the world, established in 1969. Responsible for such classics as Castlevania, Contra, Silent Hill, Metal Gear and Pro Evolution Soccer there is no doubt that Konami keep producing the goods. There have been one or two bumps along the way, the first Metal Gear game is far removed from the later games in the series whilst Metal Gear Solid 2 on the PS2 is a massive chore to play and the later entries into the Pro Evo series have seen them fall behind the FIFA series, but if it is Konami. Chances are it’s kracking.

KICK OFF : Revolutionised the way football games were played. By removing the ball from the foot of the player all of a sudden more fluid movements were possible. Those who couldn’t get used to the control hated the game and thus missed out. Those who got it, like yours truly, thought it was the best bloody football game ever, though some annoying bugs and glitches did mar the game. These were ironed out in Kick Off 2, therefore crowning itself at the top of the league. Sensible Soccer can try but in my eyes it cannot compete……..and that is an argument for the ages.

L IS FOR :

LEMMINGS : Who’d have thought short, green haired creatures with a tendency for exploding/committing suicide would have single handedly sold a lot of Amiga computers back in the 1990’s. The simple task of transporting 100 lemmings through a level is made more difficult by giving them tasks so they can reach the exit – such as digging holes to reach lower platforms, blocking other lemmings and pushing them in the right direction or floating down big drops. Once the percentage of lemmings needed to complete the level is reached, those expendable to the cause can be exterminated by pressing the NUKE button. No Lemmings were physically harmed during the making of this iconic game, but they made Psygnosis a lot of money back in the day.

LINE OF FIRE : Designed to be an Operation Wolf style run and gun, with the gun being statically mounted on the arcade cabinet, Line Of Fire was nothing more than an average arcade shooter. The home conversions were notable only for being average and lacking any excitement, with some versions having a lack of enemies. Also the Master System version, for being more of an Ikari Warriors clone than resembling the arcade original. Whichever way you look at it, imitation is the highest form of flattery and Operation Wolf had nothing to worry about.

M IS FOR :

MORTAL KOMBAT : When 2D fighting games threatened to take over the world both the Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat series stood alone at the top of the tree. Street Fighter had big, bold graphics and colourful backdrops and a none-too complicated control system. Mortal Kombat got straight to the point and incorporated as much gore and guts as you could get away with back in 1992, whilst using digitised graphics and some ludicrous finishing moves. The SNES home conversion was notable for a lack of blood, which took away the game’s impact and made it just another fighting game. Mortal Kombat is still with us, with a much maligned MK vs DC Comics game and a current generation remake which is better than it perhaps has any right to be.

N IS FOR :

NARC : Ultra violent and therefore controversial gun and run from the late 1980’s. The arcade original had you mowing down drug dealers whilst still finding time to shoot dogs. The drug dealers would end up being busted, accompanied by a large logo telling you so, whilst each dead guy left behind cash or leftover drugs. The sheer blood and gore on display was utterly unheard of in 1988 and thus the game garnered some unwarranted attention from the usual suspects – the gaming authorities, politicians and parents. It’s a very playable game and whilst similarities between this and Smash TV can be seen, it’s perhaps not as good. There were some great home conversions handled by Ocean Software but the NES release featured lots of guns and gore but the total absence of any drug reference. So it’s OK to shoot people, but drugs are not ? Go figure……

O IS FOR :

OUT RUN : The best time attack racer there was. Jump in the Ferrari and impress the blonde babe sitting next to you by passing through the stage targets in good time to carry on racing. Best played on a sit down version in the arcade with the wind in your hair and the pulsating beat of Magical Sound Shower blasting into your ears. Out Run is one the defining games of a generation of gamers. Yet when converted to the home micros a lot of versions were rubbish – Amiga, Atari ST, C64 and Amstrad to pick on the worst offenders. Relentless sequels and reboots followed until the release of Out Run : Coast to Coast on the PS2 and XBOX. Only then could modern gamers see what we retro geeks get all worked up about when we talk about Out Run.

OUTLAW : A basic Atari 2600 shooter which saw you and another cowboy duelling it out in a Pong-esque scenario. Standing across the screen from each other with only a cactus as protection (which should be shot away in one of the game’s many modes), the idea was to knock your opponent down more times than you. The game I most enjoyed on the cartridge was the bouncing target shoot where the idea is to hit it as quickly as possible 10 times. I spent hours on that.

Coming next : P to T

I’d like to make one thing clear about this retro alphabet thing – by no means at all is this a definitive list. There are going to be omissions, this list is simply a start ; a sort of launchpad if you will. It is something I want to add to as time goes on and yes it will eventually see names like Mario, Sonic and Zelda in there. However if you are a regular RetroSection-ite you will know that we prefer to look at some of the more obscure as opposed to the mass marketed.

Prey continue……..

It does help to be a little different

F IS FOR :

FROGGER : Static but vertical jumping game where the aim is to help a family of frogs cross a dangerous road, then a dangerous river. Often imitated but never bettered, Frogger is one of the most recognisable and copied games of the early days of video games. Yet whilst characters such as Pac-Man and Mario are constantly reinvented, when the Frogger character strays from the norm it’s a disaster. Anyone remember the PS2 3D adventure ? Hmmm me neither…

FLASHBACK : Having the distinction of being both French and weird, this beautiful looking game has you cast as Conrad who must rediscover his memory after waking up in a jungle and eventually will end in deep space. The game looks gorgeous with wonderful roto-scoped character movement, the gameplay is fluid and the whole experience is one where jaws drop constantly. It blew 16 bit owners away in the 1990’s and is still a revered game today.

G IS FOR :

GAUNTLET : Top down dungeon adventure where taking the role of a barbarian, wizard, valkyrie (when they were still called valkyrie and not Xena) or a dwarf, you had to negotiate your way through many levels of treasure hunting, exit finding and don’t-shoot-the-food-ing of medieval magic. Gauntlet started life as a gargantuan 4 player arcade game and was successfully converted to just about every console and computer. Famous for it’s sampled speech (“Red warrior needs food…badly”, “I know I know I can’t find any……argggh you shot the food you imbecile….”), it spawned a version with extra levels and a sequel, and was the sort of game, when playing with your mates, that could divide friendships. Just don’t shoot the food.

GOLF : There have been many variations of the golf game to grace computers over the years. In the early days you would mostly spend time wacking a pixel around a screen made up of mostly green, blue or yellow colours. Thankfully when Leaderboard came along it redefined the genre and golf games would never be so crappy again. Nintendo thought it best to put Mario in their NES games, and there he stayed through many variations over the years. After Leaderboard came the PGA series, which incorporated a grid system for putting so you could see all the contours and slopes. That series would wind up being the Tiger Woods games we know today. For slightly less serious golf types, check out either the Everybody’s Golf games or Outlaw Golf – the latter being one of the most frustrating golf games I have ever played whilst at the same time one of the most hilarious.

H IS FOR :

HORACE : A retro based alphabet wouldn’t be the same is we hadn’t included Horace. Created in 1982 and starring in his own series of games, the Horace games were nothing more than a series of copy/rip offs of popular titles : Horace Goes Skiing (Frogger), Hungry Horace (Pac-Man) and Horace & The Spiders (elements of Pitfall, Smurf and Space Panic). You cannot deny though just how successful these games were and therefore cementing Horace’s place in the Retro Hall Of Fame.

HYPER SPORTS : Responsible for providing a generation of children with wrists well beyond their actual age, this is the game that if you looked up joystick waggler in the dictionary then you would find a picture of Hyper Sports. Track & Field set the bar but when this was converted to all the home micros, joystick sales went through the roof. You had your own methods of course to get the best grip – place the joystick on the table, hold it in the air and waggle it etc – but whichever way you did it, you’d end up knackered. So Hyper Sports – Joystick waggling heaven or arthritis inducing pain. You decide…….

I IS FOR :

IMAGINE SOFTWARE : Set up in 1982, Imagine were well know for their flash image and sailing close to the wind before financially collapsing two years later. If it wasn’t for Imagine then it is likely the image of the computer programmer and games designer would have still remained some beardy, nerdy type rather than young, cool people in Ferraris. That’s the image they had, so when it all went wrong Ocean Software stepped in, bought the group and used the Imagine name on games such as Hyper Sports, Green Beret and Arkanoid, amongst others. When Imagine was sold, former programmers set up Psygnosis and Denton Designs, where such classic games as Shadow Of The Beast, Wipeout and Frankie Goes To Hollywood ended up being created.

J IS FOR :

JOUST : Not many games feature a flying ostrich – in fact I think this is the only one. Created in 1982 and released into arcades, this had you defeating evil knights riding buzzards set in space. It was just that sort of game. It makes you wonder what sort of things people smoked back in the day and purely for it’s great playability and quirky concept, Joust is an early arcade favourite that is still fondly remembered.

JET SET WILLY : One of the most iconic characters in video game history returns after the success of Manic Miner. Whether you loved the game, hated the game or if it reduced you to a gibbering wreck it makes no difference at all. This is one game that people can recall at the drop of a hat when you mention early Spectrum games.

UP NEXT : K to O